


1,000 Hours

by Aubrie1234



Series: I Can't Hear A Sound On The Radio [3]
Category: Bandom, Green Day
Genre: Deaf Character, F/M, Friendship, J.A.R., M/M, Mostly in Mike's POV, Slight M/M romance, X-Kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 13:11:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18661096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aubrie1234/pseuds/Aubrie1234
Summary: Mike's the new kid in town and makes an unlikely friendship with one of the strangest people he's ever met, and together, they set in motion a whole line of things that wouldn't be possible without their friendship.





	1,000 Hours

**1982:**

Mike was nervous as he stood in the cafeteria with his lunch, unsure of where to go or what to do. He’d just moved there with his mother and sister, a few months after school started, and he’d made no friends. It didn’t bother him that much, but he didn’t wanna make any enemies at the moment, either. He looked around, trying to find a table that was empty. Most of them were filled up with chattering students…except one. The only person sitting there was a boy, smaller than Mike, with dark hair. He was just eating his lunch and seemed kinda lonely. Mike frowned and glanced at the other tables. Everyone just avoided the table like the plague. Mike may not have wanted to make any enemies, but wasn’t going to let the kid spend his lunch alone.

“Hey.” he said, sliding onto one of the seats. The kid didn’t look up or even seem to register that Mike had appeared. The taller boy didn’t understand this but suddenly got the impression that he was being stared at. Glancing up, the whole cafeteria had quieted and was now staring at him, as if it was taboo to sit with the lonely boy. Mike glared at them but didn’t say anything. No need to make any enemies, but he did wonder why everyone was staring at him. He knew it was because of the boy, but why?

“Hey.” he tried again. Still nothing. Hesitantly, Mike reached over and tapped the boy’s arm. The boy jumped and locked his eyes on Mike, wide and a pretty grass green. He didn’t look like he expected anyone to sit with him. That was kinda sad, really. Mike went on, “I’m Mike.” The boy blinked, then pointed to an ear. Mike blinked.

“What does your ear have to do with anything?” The boy rolled his eyes and took out a piece of paper and a pencil from his backpack. He wrote on it quickly and slid it over to Mike. The taller boy read it and quickly realized how everything fit together.

 _‘I can’t hear.’_ Now everything made sense. How the other kids avoided him, how he sat alone, how he didn’t notice Mike for the longest time, how everyone was staring at Mike. The boy took it back for a moment to scribble on it again and gave it back to Mike, _‘I’m Billie.’_

“But if you can’t hear-” Mike stopped himself. He wanted to take the paper back and scribble his question, but Billie was already writing on it again.

 _‘I read lips, see what you’re saying and stuff, y’know?’_ Mike nodded. He could understand that but didn’t want to impose on Billie, so he took the paper and wrote on it for a moment.

 _‘Is that why you’re all alone over here?’_ Billie shrugged.

_‘A bit. I stay here because other kids don’t wanna do anything with me and I like being alone.’_

“You don’t look like you like it.” Mike pointed out. Billie frowned.

 _‘I’m fine.’_ Billie then ignored him by going back to his lunch. Mike would’ve done the same, but suddenly, he didn’t feel hungry. He scribbled on the paper again.

 _‘Hey.’_ he wrote, giving it back to the smaller boy, _‘Do you wanna be friends?’_ Billie stared at the writing for a moment, then looked at Mike.

 _‘Why? No one ever wants to be friends with me because I can’t hear. What makes you any different?’_ Mike shrugged.

 _‘Maybe because I wanna try and be your friend and don’t think otherwise?’_ Billie shook his head.

 _‘Fine.’_ he wrote. Mike smiled. He then coerced Billie into talking about music and was surprised at how much Billie knew, even though he couldn’t hear a single note.

 _‘How can you tell if you’re listening to music?’_ Mike asked, amazed by his new friend.

 _‘Vibrations.’_ answered Billie. Mike gave him a confused look, not quite knowing the word, and so the smaller boy elaborated, _‘Sound waves, you could call ‘em. Everything makes a certain sound and when you understand their sounds, you can understand if they’re playing music. Deciding if it’s good or not is a different story.’_

“Then what about this?” Mike tapped his feet. Billie gave him a look.

 _‘Yeah, that’s sound, but it’s not_ _music_ _.’_ Billie shook his head, _‘Why don’t we just talk about what music we like?’_

 _‘Okay.’_ And so they did.

* * *

Mike hated being sick. He always got sick so easily and he didn’t really know why, but it always seemed hit him hard. He’d been throwing up all day and his mom had to stay home from work to take care of him. And, stuck as he was, he couldn’t help but wonder how Billie was doing without him. Was the other boy lonely, as he had been before Mike appeared? Were the other kids being mean to him again? It made Mike’s blood boil just thinking about it and he got into a coughing fit. Said coughing fit forced him to rest a moment and regain his energy, which took so long it felt like an hour had passed before he could open his eyes again.

Yes, Mike _really_ hated being sick.

“Mike?” He looked to the door, blinking. His mother stood there with a smile, “You friend Billie came to see you.”

 _Billie_? Mike was surprised. He tried to look around his mother’s legs, but either the boy was too short or just wasn’t there. But then the bedsprings groaned as Billie dragged himself onto the bed to sit beside Mike, a piece of paper and a pencil in his hands he gave Ms. Pritchard a thumbs up and scribbled on the paper before holding it up to Mike.

_‘How are you?’_

“What do you think?” he croaked. He was too weak to write but could still speak. Billie’s eyes softened.

 _‘Don’t talk.’_ he wrote, _‘I brought you your homework for later and I was hoping to cheer you up.’_ Mike smiled.

“Thanks.” Billie gave him a look. Mike kept smiling. Just the smaller boy’s presence made things 1,000 times better. Billie could always make him laugh or cheer him up and Mike loved that about the smaller boy. He was like a whole heaping of fireworks and silliness packed into one tiny body and Mike found it adorable.

Not that he’d tell Billie, though. The smaller boy detested being adorable, cute, or any such words. He _did_ like being called awesome and cool, though.

“I’ll leave you two alone, then.” Mike blinked. He’d forgotten his mom was there, and then Ms. Pritchard was gone.

 _‘Is there anything I can do for you?’_ Billie asked. Mike shrugged.

“Whatever you want.” Billie looked around, as if trying to find something to do, and headed over to Mike’s closet. Mike blinked again when he heard his bass guitar being plucked and watched as Billie took it with him back onto the bed. As Billie began to play Def Leppard’s _Lady Strange_ , Mike tapped the side of the bass to get his attention.

“How do you know how to play?” Billie paused to write on the paper.

 _‘My family helped teach me.’_ the paper said, _‘Like I said, it’s vibration, it’s_ _sound_ _. When I understand that, when I know what vibration comes from what instrument, I can play it and make the same music.’_

“Have you ever tried making your own music?” Billie shook his head. Mike could barely believe this. The boy, a ‘musical magician,’ hadn’t made his own song before? It was surprising, even though it shouldn’t have been. After all, Billie was deaf and didn’t know how to read music, even though he could play it. Billie then paused for a moment, a frown on his face, and wrote on the paper.

 _‘I think there was one song, but I didn’t write it myself.’_ he said, _‘It got put on a record and everything!’_

“That’s a start.” Mike agreed. He thought in silence for a moment, listening to Billie play, and decided to teach the other how to not just read music but how to speak, too (just in case Billie didn’t know how). And in turn, maybe Billie could teach him how to do that thing with his hands that he called ‘sign language,’ which allowed him to talk besides writing on paper. Mike really wanted to talk to Billie himself, not just through a piece of paper.

* * *

**1983:**

Seeing as Mike was still new to school, he didn’t know they had a sign language teacher. Or, really, it was just that one of the regular teachers knew it. She was a lovely woman by the name of Mrs. Manies (pronounced as main-eh-s) and she worked with Billie a lot to help him get through school. When Mike told Billie his plan, the smaller boy suggested asking Mrs. Manies to help him learn sign language because she was the one who taught it to Billie in the first place. Mrs. Manies didn’t mind teaching Mike, but only if he finished his homework and caught up on his studies whenever he got sick, to which he agreed, and so he took lessons whenever he had the time. He really seemed to pick on them fast, so it was easy for him to learn a lot in just an hour. Sometimes Billie would wait for Mike after school but he was usually gone by the time 4:10 rolled around and the taller boy didn’t blame him. His mother would probably worry about Billie if he wasn’t home on time, and not just because he could get into all sorts of stuff. What if something happened to her son and he didn’t hear it coming? His siblings also seemed to share the sentiment, as Mike would find them hanging with Billie outside if the deaf boy stayed after school.

 _“You have a lot of siblings.”_ Mike signed one day during lunch. He’d specifically asked to learn the sign for ‘sibling’ to make this conversation. The sign was made from bringing your fist up to your forehead and touching it with your thumb, then you would bring it down to touch your other fist while sticking out your pointer finger, bring it back up to your chin and touch it with your thumb, and finally bringing your hand back down against your other hand. Every day Mike could see how impressed Billie was with his progress and this really took the cake, for the smaller boy paused for a moment in surprise before answering.

 _“Yeah, and they’re really protective.”_ Billie signed, _“It was because of David and Alan that I know about punk music.”_ Mike nodded. He’d met them before and Billie seemed to really look up to them. It made Mike’s heart ache as he thought about this dad. Billie seemed to notice his change in demeanor as he asked, _“Something wrong?”_ Mike shook his head.

_“I just miss my father.”_

_“You have a father?”_

_“Yeah, but he lives away from here.”_ Slowly, Billie nodded.

 _“I think I can get that.”_ He tapped his fingers on the table for a moment, _“I have a missing person, too.”_ Mike raised his eyebrows. He didn’t want to ask because it seemed like Billie was really torn up about just _mentioning_ it.

_“You don’t have to-”_

_“I know.”_ he interrupted, _“But I don’t want you to feel like you’re the only one missing someone.”_ Billie paused for a moment, then went on, _“‘Bout a month before I met you, my dad died.”_ And that was all Billie was willing to divulge as he crossed his arms and laid his head down. It seemed to really hurt him, even if it wasn’t much to say. Mike didn’t ask more. He just put a hand on Billie’s arm to comfort his friend and said nothing else.

* * *

“Weirdo!”

“Creep!”

“Stupid!”

Mike had heard a lot of things by being friends with Billie. His friend was avoided or laughed at, bullied and pushed around, and Mike hated that. People took advantage of Billie’s short stature and his loss of hearing to pick on him and it seemed to have been happening for a long time. But Mike was doing all he could to change that. Just the fact that he was taller than Billie made a few people avoid them, but not all. Mike tried to glare other people away, even if it didn’t work, and stayed close to Billie when they traveled the halls. They may have not had the same classes all the time, but Mike was willing to risk being late to class to protect his friend. Covering Billie didn’t always end well, though.

He’d done his best not to retort to incite someone’s wrath, but then there was a mention of Billie’s first father and Mike wasn’t going to let that stand. That was how he found himself pushed against some lockers by a kid that seemed twice his size. Mike was average for his age, but this guy seemed like he’d gone to the gym every day after school. The halls were empty, as most kids had gone on to class and those that hadn’t didn’t want to stick around in case they got dragged into the fight as well. So it was mostly just Mike against this oversized bully and Billie was nowhere to be seen. Mike had hoped he’d gone to safety or something, but he also knew his friend well and knew Billie wasn’t going to stand for something like this, so he should’ve expected it when suddenly Billie had grabbed the other boy from behind by the neck and forced him to let go of Mike. Mike then defended Billie by sucker punching the bigger kid in the gut and when he was down, they ran off. Of course they got detentions and such for fighting, but it was worth it.

This was not the last time they’d get into a fight at school, however, but most of them happened in 1983, including the one that made people learn not to pick on them: what the other students called ‘The Showdown.’ And in a way, that’s exactly what it was. Some bullies hadn’t liked how Mike and Billie stood up for themselves and so challenged them to a big fight after school, and the two couldn’t help but take it on, as it was placed on their route home. There was no avoiding it and the two kids dreaded it as the end of the day came nearer and nearer.

 _“I’m nervous, Bill.”_ They were sitting together in their last class of the day, one of the few they had together, and were signing as everyone finished betting on who’d win. A lot of it was on the bullies’ side.

 _“Yeah, me too.”_ When he was nervous, Billie would tap his fingers in a drumbeat from one of their favorite songs, _“I don’t see a way out of this.”_

 _“They’re not much bigger than us and we’re faster.”_ Mike reasoned, _“So at least we won’t get beaten to a pulp.”_ Billie snorted. Suddenly the bell for the end of the day rang. School was over and it was time to go to the showdown. They weren’t looking forward to it. On the way home, they stopped at a basketball court. Waiting for them was a crowd and, beyond it, their possible deaths.

What happened next was as follows: They entered the circle and met their opponents. After a moment, the fight began. There were three bullies vs. Mike and Billie, so they were outnumber and, because of their size, outgunned. That didn’t mean they didn’t have a plan, except it was mostly composed of trying to stay alive. They dodged and dipped, punched and kicked, managing to bring down one of the bullies but were beginning to get overwhelmed. Mike found himself on the knees at one point but was pulled to his feet by his friend and looking up into Billie’s face, he saw the smaller boy’s determination. It fueled Mike to stand and keep fighting. If his friend wasn’t going to give up, then neither should he. And, because of that determination, they managed to survive and beat back the bullies. Kids left the scene, exchanging money and grumbling about losses, and Billie and Mike sat down on a nearby bench. Billie had a black eye and a broken nose, Mike a bloody lip and a bump on his head from falling hard a few times. They looked at each other and shared a laugh, high on the fact that they survived, not to mention _won_. If that didn’t make them best friends, then nothing did.

No one bothered them too badly after that.

* * *

**1984:**

Mike didn’t know why, but he loved spending time at Billie’s house. Maybe it was because his family was nice, or because he’d grown distant from his father, or because he just really liked being with Billie for some reason. Whatever it was, making time with Billie wasn’t just spent playing guitar but also teaching the deaf boy how to read music and to use his voice. For a guy who’d never heard a sound, Billie was pretty quick on picking up the right letters and vowels. As Billie explained it: _“It’s like plucking out the right parts on a guitar, except you’re putting it to a voice and it’s way more complicated.”_ Mike chuckled.

“I guess.” And they continued to practice their vocal exercises. When it had first started, Billie had a lot of trouble because he didn’t use his voice a lot, but now, he was at least starting to get into longer and longer sentences. Mike knew that there should’ve been a bigger problem with this, but somehow, there wasn't. Even though there was an infliction to Billie’s voice that told someone that something wasn’t right, he was managing to speak properly. At least, for the most part. Mike helped him on new words he didn’t understand and Billie bounced every sound off his best friend, trying to get it all right. The taller boy knew that Billie wasn’t exactly the smartest guy in school, but he could see the determination, just like he had in the fight less than a year ago. Billie was full of it and Mike found that really cool, because he just wasn’t letting his deafness get in the way of his life. Mike wished that that kind of determination burned in him like it did in his best friend.

But one day, Mike found out something surprising, something that he hadn’t even thought of before. It was during one of this lessons with Mrs. Manies, and it seemed he was almost at the end of learning everything he could about sign language. An hour a day, it had taken two years or more to learn everything, and he was glad it was over. It had been a long journey to learn it all, but he was happy to have taken it, if just to talk with his best friend.

“Mike?”

“Yes ma’am?” He looked up from the small piece of homework he was finishing up. After it was done, they’d start the sign language lesson for the day.

“I was just wondering if you knew that Billie didn’t lose his hearing.”

“What do you mean?” Mrs. Manies sat forward at her desk.

“Usually, when someone has to use sign language, they’ve lost their hearing for some reason. They had it before, but they don’t have it now.”

“People can hear before they lose it? I didn’t know that.” Mrs. Manies nodded.

“Many do. But Billie was born that way, which made it a lot harder for him to learn anything, but he’s managed.” She smiled, “Helps that he has a friend like you, too.” Mike blushed. He didn’t think he’d helped Billie too much but he didn’t argue.

“Thank you. And thank you for telling me about that.” _I always thought he was deaf. This makes what happens to him all the more great, because he managed to do everything without hearing a sound._ He looked down, _And no wonder he needed help with speaking. But he can do it now, thanks to me._ Mike smiled and continued with his work.

* * *

Mike always kept in contact with his old friends in El Sobrante, especially Jason. Jason had been a good friend of his whilst growing up there and they’d stayed close, even after he moved. And, that summer, he was surprised to get a letter saying that Jason had convinced his parents to let him visit Mike for a few days. The boy was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to introduce Billie to Jason, his good friends getting a chance to meet one another. He wondered how they’d interact, seeing as he’d told them about each other various times. Jason knew a lot about Billie and Bill knew a lot about Jason. They’ve practically met, so it shouldn’t be too bad. Mike even ran out of the house when he saw Jason’s car pull up and they met in a hug.

“Mike!”

“Jason!” They continued to hug for the longest time until they had to pull apart to talk.

“It’s great to see you!” Jason exclaimed.

“Same!” Mike agreed, “How long will you be here?”

“A week. My parents don’t wanna let me stay the whole summer.” Mike laughed.

“I hope you like it here, then!” Mike said, “Do you wanna meet Billie?”

“Sure!” Jason nodded. After saying goodbye to their families, Mike led the way to Billie’s, which was just a few blocks away. When they got there, they found Billie playing a small game of catch with David and when the smaller boy missed, Mike caught the ball with ease. Billie’s eyes lit up when he saw them.

“Mike!” he cried, running over. Mike and Billie hugged and the taller boy threw the ball back to David. The older man nodded after catching it and went inside. He knew Billie would be preoccupied with them now. He loved his brother, but sometimes he had his own stuff to do.

“Jason, this is Billie.” Mike made sure the smaller boy could see his lips, “Billie, this is Jason, my friend I told you about.”

“Hi!” Billie waved.

“Nice to meet you.” Jason felt a little awkward around Billie, as he didn’t know sign language and knew of Billie’s ‘condition,’ but tried his best to help the smaller boy understand him.

“I’ve got a friend of mine over, too.” Billie turned to the house, “X!” A boy peeked his head out of the house. He seemed to be a little younger than them. He grinned and came over.

“Hi, nice to meet ya!” And so he was introduced as ‘X’ or ‘X-Kid,’ whichever worked for them, and Mike was surprised. He didn’t know Billie had any friends besides him, but he guessed that it made sense. Billie couldn’t have just grown up with only his family, right? And when he asked why the boy only went by ‘X,’ the answer he got was, “‘Cause I’m an Ex-Kid. I don’t fit in. Bill doesn’t, either.”

“Neither do we.” Jason added. And after that, they all just played together.

 _“Why don’t I see X at school?”_ Mike had signed at one point, a little curious at the mysterious newcomer.

 _“He goes to a different one than us.”_ Billie answered, _“He’s a good guy, just like your friend Jason.”_

_“Well, now we can all be friends. You’re not alone anymore.”_

_“Yeah. It’s nice not to be alone for once…”_

* * *

Billie had gotten tickets to a Van Halen concert somehow and had invited Mike along. It was going to be their first concert for either of them, and the taller boy was afraid for his friend. The noise was both not a problem and their biggest problem. Billie wouldn’t have to worry about getting his eardrums blasted, but he wouldn’t be able to hear the music he was going to see, either. Mike questioned why he was doing this if he wasn’t going to have any fun.

 _“Of course I’m gonna have fun. Doesn’t matter if I can’t hear, I can still see Van Halen and feel their music go through my body. Half the fun of going to a concert is just watching the band play, y’know?”_ Mike had to agree there, but he was also scared of what would happen to Billie because of his size. The boy was a reckless, impulsive little shit, but he was _Mike’s_ reckless, impulsive little shit. So Mike didn’t just go for the music, he also went to protect his best friend.

Best. Concert. Ever.

* * *

**1986:**

“What do you think about starting a band?”

“What?”

“I said-”

“I know what you said, but _why_?”

“‘Cause it’s cool.” Mike could only shake his head at his best friend. He wanted to ask where Billie got the idea, but let it be. He knew it’d come up eventually. They both loved music too much to just move on into a normal job or something.

“Then who’s gonna play what instrument?” asked Mike.

“You and I’ll play guitar, and I was thinking maybe Sean could play bass and Raj on the drums.”

“I guess.” Billie frowned, seeming to take in the expression on Mike’s face.

“Don’t you want something like this?”

“Sure I do, but I’m worried about what happens _after_.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll do great!” And Billie was back to strumming his guitar again. Mike rolled his eyes and focused on the guitar he’d borrowed from Billie. He didn’t think it was such a good idea to just go into a band and leave everything behind. He had to have a Plan B or something. But he also wasn’t going to abandon the band when it was formed. He had to work something out.

And he did, even if it wasn’t perfect. At least it was a plan and it would allow him to get things done and stay stable if the band didn’t go over well. A lot of people didn’t mind it…except Billie. He was mostly just annoyed. Mike didn’t blame him.

_“The band’s gonna be great, Mike! You don’t need a backup plan!”_

_“You don’t know that, Bill.”_ This was the start of an argument they had many times. They never got anywhere. Billie respected Mike’s decision to have a plan, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He was glad Mike wanted to stay for the band, though. And, in a way, that also extended to himself. Sean and Raj only knew a little sign language to be able to talk with him, and if it was just the three of them, billie didn’t know if things would end well. But with Mike? Mike was fucking _brilliant_ and _awesome_ and so many other things that it made Billie’s head spin. Without Mike, there’d be no band. With Mike, they’d make it. Billie was sure of that. And with Mike, Billie wouldn’t just have to feel like he was talking through a screen by using pencil and paper.

Maybe he was relying a little too much on Mike, but he didn’t know where he’d be without the other teen.

* * *

**1988:**

Sometimes, friendship came with a price. Mike wished he didn’t have to learn that like this.

After buying a van to get around in and forming Sweet Children, the guys had gone around and preformed at a few different places, mostly doing covers and the like. Gilman Street became a second home to them, they loved it there. And then, a small label called Lookout! Records found them and decided to sign them on for an EP. It was their first big break. They couldn’t figure out a good list of songs, though, and began fighting over it. Sean wasn’t as dedicated to the band and John tried to stay out of it. That left the fighting to Mike and Billie. It was not pretty.

Nasty words were exchanged and Mike was now sitting outside the garage, steaming and angry. There had been no sound, but he was pissed off at his friend. He and Billie fought about music before, but not like this. They’d probably have more fights over music after this, but there was something about this time that touched something within him, something he didn’t want to think about. He tried to glare at anything that passed by as he took a smoke, trying to calm down. He looked older than he should, which was why he was able to fake his age and get some cigs. They were addictive, but they calmed him down. He didn’t know how, but they did. That was a good thing, right?

“Mike!” He growled, standing up and stomping the cigarette under his foot, putting it out. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Billie right now. He left in a rush, but it seemed Billie wasn’t about to leave him be, “Mike!” He picked up his pace into a run and ran and ran and ran, he didn’t know where. He just wanted to leave the smaller teen behind.

This was one of those days where he _hated_ Billie’s determination. The boy didn’t give up until he caught up to Mike. They’d ran across Pinole and up to a hill that overlooked the city. Neither of them thought they could run that far, but here they were. Both were exhausted but wouldn’t budge on what they were doing.

“Damnit...” Billie panted, “Listen to me...please.”

“Fuck, Bill...” Mike shook his head, then realized that was a bad idea as he was hit with lightheadedness. Holding his head, he went on, making sure Billie could see his face, “I don’t...don’t wanna talk right now.”

“I get that.” Billie admitted, falling to sit on the grass, “But hear me out.” Mike gave him a look but didn’t move away. Billie was still his friend. When he saw that he had the taller teen’s attention, Billie continued, “I’m sorry, y’know?”

“‘Bout what?”

“The set list.” Billie ran a hand through his hair, “I’ve been wanting to go into a band so badly, and so have you, but I forgot about that. I wanted things to be perfect, but they can’t be that way without you, y’know?” Billie gave him such a sorry look that it made Mike freeze, “You were the first person to give me a chance. You’ve stayed by my side through thick and thin. You even stayed behind for our band instead of going with your mom and sister. I can’t say anything about asking you to come back and give things another shot, y’know? I only wanted to say that neither of us would be anywhere near where we are now without you.” Billie hung his head. Mike…He didn’t know what to say. Billie was rarely sorry about anything, usually he took all shit thrown at him, so this was big to him. It was big to Mike, too, and so he felt bad. He sat beside Billie, vibration causing the smaller male to look at him.

“I forgive you.”

“R…Really?” Billie seemed so amazed that Mike would think that. The taller teen nodded.

“Yeah.” Billie smiled back. He was glad to have made up with the other. All was quiet between them for a few minutes as they gazed over the city.

“Mike?”

“Yeah?” He turned so that Billie could see his lips.

“Could you promise me something?”

“Sure.” Mike nodded. Billie fidgeted a little.

“Promise not to get mad at me, okay?”

“As if I could get any angrier already?” Mike was confused at this, wondering what Billie was getting at, until he found himself kissing his best friend. His eyes widened but he didn’t move away. He couldn’t pull away even if he’d tried, with Billie’s hand on his neck and pulling the taller teen down to him. And when Billie pulled away, Mike didn’t know what to say. The smaller male got up and ran away. Mike blinked in shock, putting a hand to his lips. What had just happened? He had to know. Getting up from his perch, he ran after Billie. He couldn’t shout after his friend to stop him, so he had no choice but to grab or tackle him, and so he did. Billie struggled for a moment in the grass against Mike, then stilled. He seemed to be crying. Mike helped him sit up and took him into a hug. It didn’t matter to him, what had happened, he only wanted to comfort his friend. And so Mike did.

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Mike spoke as he comfortingly rubbed his friend’s back, even though Billie couldn’t hear him, “I don’t know what the hell you did, but…it wasn’t wrong.”

 _Of course it is._ His mind told him, _You know_ exactly _what he did and it’s completely wrong._

 _Is it really, though?_ His heart asked, _Is it really wrong to feel something for your best friend?_

Mike had no idea, but he was sure of one thing: he was certain he had a crush on Billie Joe Armstrong. He was so fucked.

* * *

**1992:**

Mike didn’t know how to feel at the moment. Jason…Jason was gone.

 _Is it supposed to hurt this much?_ he thought, _I miss him…_ He was feeling so much, and yet nothing at all at the same time. He guessed he was in shock. It helped that Billie was comforting him, as well as Tré, the new guy. Somehow he’d quickly become a big part of their group after John left. Mike found that he didn’t mind it.

‘An accident.’ They’d said, ‘Going too fast.’ Jason had died from his injuries. Mike wished he’d been there, one last time. He didn’t want to stay stuck in one place like this, he wanted to _do_ something for Jason, to let his memory last, but what could he do?

 _“C’mon, talk to us.”_ Billie was signing, _“Please, Mike.”_ It distressed him to see his best friend like this. He’d caught shades of Mike being withdrawn and sullen before, but lot like this. Even when they got into fights he’d never get like this. Billie wanted his best friend to get better but he didn’t know how to do it. Tré said nothing. He wasn’t as involved as the other two. He had less an idea of what to do that they did. Billie went on, _“I miss Jason too, but you can’t stay like this.”_ Billie wasn’t as close to Jason as Mike, so he signed out Jason’s name, unable to come up with a shorthand. Mike huffed.

“Sure I can.” he said, tilting his face out of Billie’s sight in spite, “Jason was my friend, not yours.”

“That doesn’t mean you can just cut us out of this.” Tré protested, “Sure, we weren’t close to him, I didn’t even know him, but Billie wants to help you in anyway he can. Let him help, dude.” The drummer crossed his arms. He didn’t look like he was going to budge on this, even if it cost him. Mike liked that. Proved Tré wasn’t going to back down for just about anything. He only hoped it wasn’t like Billie’s determination. However, Tré had a point. Billie shouldn’t be subject to his anger because he was mad at himself. Mike sighed.

“Right. I’m sorry.” He tilted his head back where Billie could see his face again, “I just wanna do something for Jason’s memory but I don’t know what.”

“Why don’t you write a song?” Billie suggested, switching to talking, “You know that’s how I always deal with things.”

“He’s got a point.” added Tré. Even though he hadn’t been in the band long, it was long enough to understand how Billie wrote songs.

“But if I write it…Could we just not play it?” Mike glanced away, “I don’t think I could ever play it live.”

“Of course we won’t.” Billie said, “I promise.”

“Me too.” Mike gave a watery smile.

“You guys are the best.” Without prompting, Billie handed him a pad of paper and a pencil.

“Write your feelings out now so we can make it later.” Billie advised, “The feelings aren’t as strong if you do it later after the event.” Mike could understand that and began to write. Tré watched for a moment, then left the room. This was their thing, not his. He was lucky they didn’t notice.

He also had a sneaking suspicion there was more to their friendship but didn’t say anything. He wasn’t gonna judge, anyway.

* * *

**1995:**

Mike was reading one of their recent interviews over and over again. Technically, it was one only with Billie, but it still caught his attention. _Coming Clean_ made so much sense now. What happened in Pinole made so much sense. It made his insides twist with feelings he’d buried long ago after Billie had fallen for Amanda.

 _Fuck._ He put his head in his hands, _Why can’t I burn my damn bridges?_

 _" I think I've always been bisexual.” _ said the Billie from the magazine,  _“I mean, it's something that I've always been interested in. I think people are born bisexual, and it's just that our parents and society kind of veer us off into this feeling of 'Oh, I can't.' They say it's taboo. It's ingrained in our heads that it's bad, when it's not bad at all. It's a very beautiful thing."_

Mike so badly wanted to strangle his best friend. He was taken out of these murderous thoughts when he heard someone knocking at the front door. Said murderous thoughts returned when Billie appeared at the door. He seemed sheepish and nervous.

 _“Hey.”_ he signed. Mike glared. Billie winced, _“Look, can we talk for a moment?”_

 _“You can come in.”_ As his friend entered his house, Mike noticed Billie was holding something under his arm. He went and got the magazine from the living room.

“Oh.” Billie spoke, “You already got a copy, huh?” He also had a copy of _The Advocate_ in his hands.

“ _Explain_.” Mike growled out.

“You’re taking this a lot harder than I thought you would…” Billie glanced down, trying not to meet Mike’s eyes, “I meant to talk to you about this before you read the article, y’know?” He gave a weak laugh, “Guess the postman was faster.” Mike gestured for him to keep talking. Billie did so, “I thought you got the meaning from _Coming Clean_ , but this really puts it out there.” He gave a sigh, “I’m bisexual. Happy?”

 _“Not really.”_ Mike signed, forcing Billie to look at him, _“You never told_ _Tré and I_ _the full story on what_ Coming Clean _was about and you kept dodging the question in interviews, so we had to make something up for ourselves. This makes so much sense it’s sick.”_

“Mike-”

_“And what about what happened in Pinole?”_

“I asked you not to get mad at me about that-”

 _“I didn’t because I was never told what that was about. Fucking tell me right now or else.”_ Billie didn’t want to know what the ‘or else’ would be, so he told Mike.

“I was experimenting. I didn’t know who I was at that time, you know that. I was trying to figure myself out and I- I picked you because you were my best friend and out of everyone I could’ve kissed I knew it wouldn’t hurt you, y’know?” Billie looked away, “At least, I thought it wouldn’t.” Mike stared at him. And stared and stared. Billie sweated under it, wondering what his friend was thinking and what the verdict was going to be. Eventually, Mike sighed. He sat down on his couch and put his hand over his eyes, like he was exhausted. He probably was.

“I had a crush on you after you kissed me.” The bassist admitted, “That’s all. I killed it after it was all over, when you started dating girls and going to male prostitutes. Didn’t think I had a chance and besides, it was just a crush. It wasn’t anything.” He uncovered his eyes, “Thanks for coming to talk to me about this, though. Did you have any idea?” Billie shook his head slowly and sat beside his best friend.

“No way.” he said, “if I’d know, I would’ve been happy to be with you. But if you don’t want it, that’s fine too, y’know? You be who you wanna be, Mike. You did the same for me, so I’m doin’ it to you.” Mike smiled.

 _“Thanks, BJ.”_ They hugged. He still hurt, but at least the worst was over.

* * *

**2009:**

Mike was trying to get in touch with Billie, but there was nothing. He wouldn’t answer the video chat requests on his phone and Mike was afraid something would happen to his friend, just like X.

X was the main reason Mike was trying to get to Billie. Billie had originally called him and was distraught over X’s sudden suicide, and then the crappy connection had cut in and they’d lost each other. Mike was now trying to check on Billie, make sure he was okay, even if Adie was with him. That was why he was driving over to the Armstrong house at the moment, to check on his best friend. Estelle was in the backseat, watching out the window as they drove.

“Dad?”

“Yeah, sweetie?”

“Is Uncle Billie okay?” Mike was quiet for a minute. He couldn’t cover this up for her, she could understand this, but he didn’t even know himself if things were okay.

“I don’t know. Estelle. I just hope he is.” His daughter was quiet for the rest of the ride. When they arrived, Mike helped Estelle out of the car and they went to the front door. Mike knocked and was soon answered by a harried Adrienne.

“Mike!” She dragged him in, “I don’t care how you got here, just go help Billie.” If he was in such bad a shape that _Adrienne_ didn’t want to deal with him, Mike didn’t know what he could do. As he looked back, he saw her leading Estelle to go play with the boys and knew that he really didn’t have a choice in the matter. He went up the stairs and headed towards the bedroom, careful in how he stepped. He didn’t why he was being careful, he needed to see Billie, but he found himself fearing the worst. He finally got to the door and slowly opened it, glancing inside. Billie was sitting up on the bed, curled up with his head on his knees. He wasn’t moving or making a sound. Mike was hesitant to enter, not wanting to frighten Billie but not sure how to get his attention. He decided to get it over with and sat on the end of the bed. Billie didn’t move, even though Mike was sure he felt the dip in the bed. He gently laid a hand on Billie’s arm. The singer didn’t make a sound. Mike frowned, then looked around. He spotted a pad of paper and a pencil beside the bed. He grabbed them and brought them over to Billie. He tapped the end of the pencil against Billie’s arm. The smaller man looked up, glaring and red-eyed.

“Write down your feelings.” Mike said, “Just like how you told me.” Billie glared for another moment, then took the offered items and began scribbling furiously. Mike didn’t leave his side, watching as he wrote down words at a lightning pace.

_I once was old enough to know better_

_Then I was too young to care_

_But who cares?_

_I probably would but Hollywood is dead and gone_

_You fell in love_

_But then you just fell apart_

_Like a kick, in the head_

_You're an X-Kid_

_And you never even_

_Got started again_

 

_Bombs away!_

_Here goes nothin'!_

_The shouting is over_

_Hey X-Kid!_

_Bombs away!_

_Here goes nothin'!_

_The shouting is over and out_

_Over and out again_

Mike realized that it wasn’t all just about X, but Generation X as well. Made sense.

 _“Billie?”_ Mike signed, getting his friend’s attention, _“You ever wanna sing this?”_

 _“I don’t know.”_ Billie did it with one hand, as if waving Mike off, _“It still hurts.”_

 _“Yeah, I get it.”_ Mike stayed quiet for the rest of the time. He didn’t speak when Billie leaned against him. His friend needed it.

It took long amounts of time for Mike to not only learn sign language but to realize that he had a crush on his best friend. He’d been able to stay strong for Billie, and Billie had stayed strong for him. They could have had something, but they didn’t. He was fine with that. He had a daughter, a wife, and a son, Billie had his own family, and they’d grown up. Without each other, where would they be? Where would the band be? Mike was happy to have been able to stay with Billie, because together, they could get through anything. Even the deaths of their friends, because their friendship was much stronger than they realized.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't ask me how much research I did to make this.
> 
> Please don't.
> 
> But I loved making it regardless. And if things are OOC, I'll try and fix them. If there's anything you're not sure on in the story, just ask and I can see you where I found it or where it's from. Most of it you can find from Wikipedia. And, even though I didn't mean to, the slight Mike/Billie thing happened. You don't want it, try to ignore it. I swear that's the way the story just went. I'm serious, these things write themselves. But anyway, I hope you like this oneshot, and I hope to put out another of these soon.


End file.
